Saturday, December 29, 2012

One year... three months.

Tried to make sure I wrote every month that marked the anniversary of my arrival here in Hawaii. I missed it by one day. Yesterday would have been exactly a year and three months since I've resided here.  I arrived on this island on September 28, 2011 with a lot less weight on me and a lot more disdain about the option to relocate. See, food makes you happier! It's that or I just forced myself to adapt to my environment, which had the most positive of placebo effects.

...and being positive is the only option at this point...

This year has been full of memories, and I have appreciated each and every one of them.  I don't always feel that upbeat.  My life has changed for the good and the bad.  I came here with the mentality that I had just met my archenemy and deemed him my stepfather.  He has now developed into one of my best friends and transformed into something unfamiliar and amazing--my father.  Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with colon cancer in October of this year, 2012. 
It concerns me on a daily basis, and it's difficult to function knowing some of the hardships my family (especially my mother) endures.  Nonetheless, I also have great faith in our family unit's ability to overcome, exceed and triumph over adversity's indirect way of providing our minds' character.  That's all any of this is--a test of character and faith.  And, whatever the challenge brings, a new phase of strength will be restored.

My Life is Fun

"and I'll continue to wear my smile when my tears have left me cold"
Whatever a person's perception of God, common sense or the greater power of being good is, there's no harm in being grateful.  I do happen to believe in God.  To some, it may seem like a silly feat but it gives me great hope to thank something/someone higher, each day, for providing me with the mental sustenance to overcome my heart's occasional despondence.  And when you love as hard as I do, it's easy to fall prey to being heartbroken.
I meet people with the intention of loving who they are.  At times, I've been disappointed by own naivete and insecurities.  But more often than not, I'm enlightened.  I learn something from everyone I meet.  And, as long as I'm learning, I'm growing... which gives me the stamina to continue to persevere in whatever goal I may be striving to attain.



And my only goal for 2013 is to give back everything I have been given...

I wish everyone the happiest 2013!

 Stay positive, stay focused and stay grateful.

Friday, September 28, 2012

One year in Hawaii!

It has been one year, exactly, since I moved home.  And I'm celebrating by finishing up some work. lol.  I remember how miserable I was when I first got here.  I couldn't wait to leave.  Now, I'm longing to stay.  I've gotten comfortable, which means, I'll probably be leaving soon.  I'm truly blessed.  I work with good people.  I have a good family and the friends I've made here will probably be lifelong.  If you want to see what I went through each month since I've been here, you can go ahead and browse through the old blogs... you can also see me gradually getting fatter through each blog... I'm going to work that off though.

So I'm much too lazy to format this into an actual writing, so I'll make a list of everything I've done since I've been to Hawaii:

1.  Gained like 20 pounds, I'm sure.
2.  Performed my poem, three times :)
3.  Went on a dinner cruise.
4.  Took a trip.
5.  Joined a gym, that I'm probably going to cancel because I never go anymore.
6. Voted.
7.  Saved up my target amount.

....I'm sure there's more but I can't think that hard right now.

What I hope to do the remainder of my stay here:

1.  Volunteer at the shelter with Justin.
2.  Lose that 20 pounds.
3.  Skydiving.
4.  Visit a neighbor island.
5.  Save up enough.
6.  Go salsa dancing.
7.  Karaoke.
8.  Scuba diving
9.  Perform at a new venue.
10.  Win something.... I'll figure it out.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

11 months still standing :)

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday partly because I was just too lazy to, and the other part was a reaction to the first, I was too tired from being lazy :)  But it's been 11 months now since I've been in Hawaii, and it has been a good experience to say the least.  I've learned to just make the most of what I have, focus on what I can change and to stay positive in every circumstance.

My job has been fulfilling.  I enjoy the people I work with, and that, in itself, has been a huge blessing.  I'm still working on getting spiritually where I need to be.  Needless to say, however, I'm a decent person so that should count for something. lol.  I absolutely love my life and the people that I have met in the process.  I've still had my share of misfortunes, but everyone has.  And, I think I've gotten past the stage in my life where I cry about my problems.  They will always be there and there's really nothing I can do but solve them, in order to overcome.

Family is doing well.  Ironically, I hardly ever see them.  My mom will be celebrating another birthday this year, which I'm immensely grateful for.  I have watched my mom endure a lot, and I hope I develop that strength of character in years to come.  Each person I've met since I've been home, even those I may not necessarily "click" with, has taught me something.  And, that has made every day a valuable experience.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Ten Months In Hawaii

I completely forgot that yesterday, July 28, 2012, had been exactly 10 months since I've been in Hawaii.  I had planned to write a blog every single month until I hit the year mark of living here.  So far, so good.  Everything is everything right now.  I went from feeling very alone and dead inside when I first got here, to living life a little too fully sometimes since I've been here.  If I had to choose between the two emotions, hands down, I'd opt for the latter.  It has been one crazy ride, but the things I've seen along the way have been priceless. 

My time in Hawaii will be missed, that's inevitable.  I think what's sinking in the most, now that the time is getting closer to when I actually depart, is how much I'll miss my family.  Ironically, I hardly see my cousins since I've moved here, but I know we're all busy with school and work.  However, when I do see them, I always feel a sense of peace.  They're all such beautiful people.  And, no matter how fast or unpredictable my actions become, I'm always aware of how blessed I am to have such a close-knit family.  Saying goodbye to them is going to be the hardest. 

Enough of that, though, work is work.  I enjoy the people I work with, and I'm learning a lot.  Other than that, nothing much under the sun.  I'm just enjoying life and taking everything, exactly, how it comes... 

Friday, June 29, 2012

Nine months... and I'm not pregnant :)

Sometimes I literally have to pinch myself... life is good.

It's officially my nine-month anniversary since I moved to Hawaii, and life has been good.  I've met all different types of people from many different walks of life, and I absolutely love it here.  The atmosphere is so laid-back, and the acceptance and love I've received has been insurmountable.  It's been a blessing...

My perspective on a lot has changed quite a bit... but it's been worth it.  My job has been a lot of fun, and I love hanging out with comedians.  They're so raunchy and bold, but they are who they are.  None of them censor themselves, which is nice.  I'm not around a bunch of uptight people anymore.  It's great.  I finally feel free.

...and it's amazing.

Monday, May 28, 2012


Eight months!  Eight months since I've been in Hawaii, and I have 15 pounds extra on my body to prove it!  Those pounds have been worth the gain.  I'm having so much fun, I don't know what to do with myself.  I feel incredibly blessed, fortunate and happy.  Been some time since I could say that.

I have a new job and I'm learning a lot at work.  I enjoy the people I work with, and it's such a relief to be financially secure for a change.  When I'm not at work, I'm usually out playing.  I've met so many people since being home. And, each and every one of them has taught me something.  I love the diversity and the level of tolerance I've encountered here.

Yes, I'm dating but not one person in particular. lol.  I really like being single.  Maybe one day it'll change but for now, I like my freedom.  Everyone I want in my life, is in it.  Things couldn't be better...

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Lucky Number Seven!

No, that's not my man.  That's my friend Marckende.  I just wanted to remember this night because I thought it was a pivotal moment in my very shy, reserved life.  Before I get to that, however, I digress... 

It has been exactly seven months, today, that I've been in Hawaii.  That time has traveled somewhat fast.  Other moments, it feels like the time isn't going as fast as I am.  However, I have made the most of my experience in Hawaii, and I'm having fun!  I'm meeting so many different people from all different walks of life, and I love what each and every one of them has taught me.  I still keep in contact with my friends from Georgia, Atlanta, Texas, Alabama, Alaska, etc.  And, I'm happy to be putting Hawaii on that list too!

Lately, I've just been trying to push myself.  I've had tunnel vision with regards to my goals.  I'm very grateful that my parents have been supportive, and I'm just trying to make the best of what has gone on around me.  The food here is delicious, and I love how accepting the people here are.  I hope that I keep the laid-back attitude of the island life with me no matter where I go in the future, and I hope I just keep thriving as far as my writing goes, my career, and the relationships I acquire along the way.

Hawaii has been good for me because it's a change.  Change, I've learned, is the only way to grow.  It hasn't just been Hawaii, though.  I've had to change my way of thinking.  I feel like I was thrown out of my comfort zone, and I've realized that has given me the confidence needed in order to pursue my dreams.  I recently had the opportunity to slam my writing.  I was completely nervous and in many ways, I felt like I bombed.  However, I got it out of the way, and I have a better idea of how I can fix it when I do it again.  Regardless of how I did, I was truly grateful for those that have supported me.  I was so nervous.  I was around a bunch of extroverts who love the spotlight.  The joint was loud and thriving with comics, musicians and dancers.  Then I get up there, and everyone gets quiet.  But, I was heard.  And, that's all that mattered to me.  People came up to me afterwards and gave me props, and I'm still in contact with some.  So, that has been nice.

What I learned the most is that the only way to overcome a fear is to face it head on.  My worst fear is not living up to my own potential.  So, I have pushed myself to the mental limits in every way possible.  Each misstep has just prepared me for a stronger stance in this journey I call life.  I am loving it so far.  I'm climbing, I'm running, and I'm

getting there.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Six Months Going Strong

I thought something seemed a little off-kilter today.

It has been exactly six months, today, that I've been in Hawaii. And, it has been an interesting journey, to say the least. Hawaii is an experience I think everyone should try to have. I think change in general is good for the soul. It has shown me exactly what I'm capable of, and it's helped me to realize how adaptable I can really be.

The thing I love the most about Hawaii is being so close to my family. I have a beautiful family, and it's been a blessing. Regardless of what I'm going through in my life, they're always there for me. And they accept me for my weaknesses and my strengths. They know who I am, and they're okay with that. I always feel home when I'm with my cousins, my aunties, my uncles, or my mom and brothers. And, it gives me a little boost of self-esteem that I can't even extract from the deepest part of myself.

When I first got here, all I could think about was leaving. And, since I've been here, I've decided that Utah just isn't for me. It might be for some people, but I like Hawaii a lot better. I love it here actually. I didn't at first. I thought it was a sheer and utter nightmare living here, and there were even points where I felt so claustrophobic, I could barely breathe. (literally) But, I found peace within myself. Circumstances will happen that are outside of our control sometimes. I had two choices. I could either focus on what I could change or dwell on what could have been. I chose the first, and I'm learning, that's the only way to grow.

I love my life. It's still not perfect, but I am very fortunate. And, in spite of the trials and the obstacles that come my way, I look forward to the opportunity of trying to endure them. Whatever may be in the stars, if the universe has enough confidence in me to give me a fight--I'm down. ;)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Month Nombre FIVE-O.

It's officially five months in Hawaii!

How crazy is that?

I didn't think I'd last a month in this household, but it's been a nice little transition. I will miss home, and I'm proud to call this place, "home." I think now I know where I get my accepting spirit and my generosity from. Can't really help but be accepting here with all the diversity in culture and whatnot.

I absolutely love it here, and if I could afford to live here, I would stay. I'm just not ready to come home yet. It's going to be tough relocating to another place. I've been spoiled by the weather here, how there's always someone ready and willing to talk to you and the lovingness that I've experienced since I've been here.

Yes, I've met a couple of jerks here as well, but those experiences have made me stronger. I'm proud of myself, and I'm really grateful for the people who have impacted me here. I'll miss my family a lot when I leave, my sister, Kaui, my other sister, Maka...hell, I'm even going to miss that lady Marlene at the bus stop that I see every morning. lol.

But, change helps me grow and I'm ready for a new change soon. :)

Hawaii is awesome, though.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Art of Losing

This blog's for you, Maeva. I believe you asked me awhile back, for the link to my blog about losing weight. I was inspired tonight when I talked to two personal trainers at a church meeting. I've been in several instances since I've been to Hawaii where exercise has been the topic of conversation, so here's my story of how I lost over 80 pounds within a year period.

The first picture is actually my before picture. That was me in 2008. I weighed about 220 pounds. The biggest I've gotten, however, is 240. Everything that made me happy was somehow related to food. When I was 16, that was fine. It wasn't as hard to burn off calories. But, by the time I hit 25 years old, my metabolism began to slow down. I started to slow down, and I became more and more comfortable getting sedentary as well.

A few months after the picture above was taken, I decided to slowly diet. I didn't begin by running three miles a day. The fact of the matter is, is your body gets used to exercising. Yes, you can lose weight faster by working out more. That's common sense. However, you will plateau. I began by walking 10 minutes. Yes, that's how out of shape I was. I did that for about a week. I then moved on to 20 minutes, which is equivalent to a mile of walking, for two weeks. After the second week, I had moved up to 30 minutes and increased the speed. The following month, I began working out for an hour a day, six days a week.

I went from 196 to 170 within a month. This was in 2009. I eventually got down to 150. That's the slimmest I ever was. I never made it a goal to get down to a certain weight. At 150, I was wearing a size five. So although I was never that thin according to my literal weight, I was losing inches like crazy.

It's 2012, and I've managed to keep the weight off:

I have no secrets. I keep myself very active. I don't do any type of diet fads. I never have and never will promote that. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out to just eat less, workout more. Or, increase your intake of vegetables. Even some fruits are loaded with natural sugars. I love bananas, but if I eat those all day, it would defeat the whole purpose.

I also didn't join any gym. I didn't ask anyone what they did to lose weight. I just stayed consistent. I did incorporate spirituality into my exercise regimen. I think physical health is more about being mentally focused. If you have that, along with motivation, you'll lose weight and you'll keep it off.

I always ate about six meals a day. It would usually go as follows:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with a piece of fruit.

Snack: Raw almonds or raw peanuts.

Lunch: My lunch would vary. I'd usually eat some type of protein for lunch like chicken or tuna with a salad. I cut out red meat altogether.

Snack: Organic fig newtons with raw almonds and/or sliced apples.

Dinner: Meat and vegetables. Sometimes I'd have rice, but I was very careful about eating rice.

Snack: Something healthy. Can't remember what but probably more peanuts. lol.

I also drank a lot of water--usually about a gallon a day. Yeah, you'll go to the bathroom quite a bit, but it's really good for you. It makes you fuller and will help keep your metabolism up. I never drank soda.

This may sound corny to some, but I also prayed before each workout. I wanted to make sure I was focused on the important aspect of losing weight--not just losing weight but staying healthy. For me, health is part of my spirituality because it nourishes the soul.

So, there you go... for now. :)

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Four Times A Charm

Everyone keeps telling me that eventually Hawaii will become like "home." It seems like everyone wants to become a creature of their environments. That's not really my forte. It was when I first came here. I always considered myself to be someone who was more apt to relating to people from the mainland, but there's several people here from the mainland. So it really has nothing to do with the culture. It has everything to do with perspective.

Since I've been here, I've had a new experience every day. Some of them have been great experiences, others have been not so great. But even the bad experiences have led to some beautiful growth in me. I went through a lot when I first got here, but I'm still alive. I'm still thriving. I'm still persevering. I have worked every single month I've been here. I got a job three weeks after I got here, and I was promoted within a month at my current job. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud that I didn't forfeit this challenge and just move back right away. I have made the best friendships I could ever acquire, here in Hawaii. It's such a melting pot here that you're forced to see beyond the surface, and what I've seen is I'm surrounded by beauty, both in nature and in those I come into contact with.

This 17-year-old girl gave a talk in church last Sunday. I have never been moved so much by a teenager. So I talked to her for an hour after service. After we talked, her dad offered to give me a ride but I wanted to walk. They drove past me, she stuck her head out the window, waved and smiled and said, "bye Tiare." That image will be embedded in my mind forever of how precious life has become here. I feel blessed, I feel stronger, I feel humbled and I feel everything will be okay. I'm finally coming to terms who I am, and I'm grateful for that. Life... is good. :)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Life is getting ridiculously good.

This has been a wonderful year, so far. I've been truly blessed with some really great experiences, a good job and an abundance of love these days. I really didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year. I just wanted to make the most of each day. I wanted this year to be a time for me to focus on bettering myself, to let go of things which would no longer be beneficial to my progress and to give as much love as I receive.

As I've learned to really appreciate the people in my life, my world has gotten a lot brighter. I was a lot to handle when I first came to Hawaii. I really missed something familiar. Everything was new. I lived in Hawaii when I was a kid, but never as an adult. But, I adjusted rather fast. When I found a job I enjoyed here and started making friends, I absolutely LOVED IT!

<----This has been my best friend since I've moved to Hawaii. She's amazing. She's encouraged me to take boxing from the man who's training her to compete in matches. I told her it would be awesome if we could get in the ring together, but she refuses to fight me. I'll let you all know if she changes her mind though! She and I recently went to Zanzabar (a night club here) and the men flock to this woman like I have never seen. Literally, she had three dudes fighting over her at the club. It's kind of funny... if only they all knew she could beat them up. :)

I feel really blessed for each day that I have here. I do thank God that I'm waking up to another day in paradise, and I've learned a lot from the people here. I even enjoy going to church here! lol. The things people do and say here really stand out to me. They may not even realize it, but I'm touched by the humility and random acts of kindness I see displayed here on a daily basis. I hope I'm here long enough to carry this spirit in my heart forever. A friend of mine, moved here five years ago from Alabama. She told me, "once you've been to Hawaii, there's no place after that." She's right. It is paradise in so many ways.

I am grateful for my friends in Utah as well. Before I left, I had many people in Utah who helped me out, and hopefully I'll get the opportunity to visit them in the future. Until now, I'm enjoying what life is bringing me. :)

P.S. Check out the UFC gym if you're in Hawaii! The trainers are awesome!! Can't wait until it opens!